A Concerned Reader Seeks Advice
I have a close friend whom I’ve known for almost ten years and greatly appreciate for her humor, non-judgmental nature, kindness, and loyalty. However, over the last 18 months, she has been excessively flirtatious with my husband, particularly during social gatherings with friends and alcohol involved. Although my husband enjoys the banter in good fun, I am certain that there are no deeper feelings from his side.
Despite having a boyfriend, her behavior has become a source of irritation for me, especially during couple outings. A friend recently remarked that her actions were excessive and advised me to be vigilant. The situation escalated at a recent barbecue at her place when she sat on my husband’s lap for an extended period, behaving as if they were a couple, making even my husband uncomfortable.
Feeling embarrassed and disrespected, I am unsure of how to address the issue without jeopardizing our friendship. I do not wish to ruin our relationship, but her behavior is unacceptable and needs to change for us to continue being friends.
In response, Coleen empathizes with the discomfort this situation brings and suggests talking to your husband about your feelings and asking him not to engage if the flirting persists. It seems awkward for him as well but he can politely excuse himself or redirect the conversation. Consider limiting social interactions with her and opt for one-on-one meetings rather than group settings.
If her behavior persists, it may be necessary to confront her directly to salvage the friendship. While this conversation may be challenging, it is essential to address the issue and gauge her response. She may feel contrite and apologize, demonstrating her care for the friendship, or she may distance herself. In either case, crossing boundaries with a friend’s spouse is unacceptable and could indicate a shift in the friendship dynamic.
Coleen Nolan, known for her candid advice on Loose Women, offers guidance on relationship and life dilemmas. For inquiries, email dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk. Please note that personal replies are not guaranteed. You can also write to Coleen Nolan at The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP. Stay updated with her newsletter every Saturday by signing up at bit.ly/MirrorColeen.