Simone Abrahamsohn, a resident of Toronto, shares her experience of becoming her older brother’s primary caregiver after the passing of their mother this summer. Balancing the role of a caregiver for her neurodivergent brother, Stuart, who is autistic and a left-brain stem stroke survivor, presents unique challenges. Stuart requires assistance with daily activities like feeding, transfers, grooming, and managing emotional fluctuations triggered by loud noises.
Reflecting on their childhood, Simone recalls feeling embarrassed by Stuart’s behaviors, including stimming and introversion, which were often misunderstood by others. Despite their differences, she acknowledges similarities with Stuart, acknowledging her own struggles with ADHD and the art of masking her symptoms. By adapting her communication style and behaviors to accommodate Stuart’s needs, she aims to create a harmonious living environment for both siblings.
Simone highlights the lack of support for neurodivergent individuals during her upbringing in the absence of online communities or influencers. She regrets not advocating more for Stuart in the past, recognizing the impact of societal misunderstandings on his experiences. Today, she embraces the opportunity to improve their relationship by actively engaging with Stuart, respecting his agency, and making joint decisions to enhance their shared living arrangements.
Although adjusting her lifestyle to accommodate Stuart’s needs has meant sacrificing personal pursuits like acting classes, Simone values their evolving relationship above all else. With external support from caregivers and a positive mindset, she strives to foster a supportive and understanding environment for both siblings. Simone sees this phase as a chance to make amends for past shortcomings and strengthen her bond with Stuart in their unique journey as middle-aged, non-neurotypical siblings.